"I'll teach you how to jump on the wind's back!"

"If riding in an airplane is flying, then riding in a boat is swimming. If you want to experience the element, then get out of the vehicle."

Yesterday, for about 10 minutes, I felt the ultimate freedom.  I can honestly say jumping out of a plane at 9,500 feet, falling at a speed of 124 mph, toward the beautiful world, was the best feeling ever.  The build-up, the excitement, the fear, the panic - up until the moment we flung our bodies out of the “perfectly good plane” was worth every second.  I will freely admit that I had 2^nd thoughts. After waiting around a hangar full of half-crazy men for two hours, I doubted myself.  I was blank. I was in shock.  The skydivers have a different perspective on life – they live it to the fullest.  I thought mine might be ending this day.  I hadn’t eaten in over 9 hours. My stomach was empty, on purpose.  I wasn’t sure what was going to happen up there. I was completely in the dark.  As they prepared me for every step, including getting in the plane, how my exit was going to go, how to arch my body, what to do with my arms, to throw up down my shirt if I felt the need, I was wishing I had taken notes.   As I entered the plane with Hoyt, I forgot it all. It was gone, completely.  What if I screwed this up? The one piece of advice I remember, “Whatever happens to you, happens to me. Nothing’s going to happen to me.”

  The plane ride took forever. I talked a little as Hoyt wanted to have a screaming contest.  Our cameraman, Dan, won. I couldn’t conjure up a squeak, hardly. I told Hoyt that I couldn’t remember how to get out of the plane, he laughed. “We fall out.”  I don’t remember what to do with my body, again, he laughed, “You do what mine does.” I can’t remember what he told me about my nose, teeth, etc. There was something about that. “It’s called breathing, Wendy. You do it all the time.” He patted my leg in reassurance, adjusted my harness and had me prepare myself by the door.   As I stood there in front of Dan, face to face with him, while Hoyt strapped my body tightly to his, a hard realization came to me. “I have to pee.” I yelled to Dan. He laughed. “Me, too.”  And the door was open, we stood on a small platform about the size of a foot, all three of us.  I looked at Dan, “I can’t remember anything.” I shook my head. I started spurting out a thousand questions, which I don’t remember.  I remember Hoyt, whispering in my ear, "We're going to jump on the wind's back!"

The next minute, I was face down, feet above my head, barreling down at the world.  I do remember my first thought, “I can’t believe this!” And then my mind went blank.  They told me this would happen, so I had to focus.  They explain that your mind goes on mental block – it’s a defense mechanism.  “You’ll only remember snapshots.” I focused hard as I arched my body perfectly; I took deep breaths through my mouth and stared directly at Dan as he came close to me with a wild smile on his face. I was skydiving!  Then we were gently, pulled up into the sky by the parachute. It was gentle, wild and crazy – all at once.  “You didn’t even scream!” were the first words out of Hoyt’s mouth.  I laughed, kicked my feet and took it all in. It was peaceful, serene and exhilarating.  Hoyt laughed, “Do you remember all those questions you were asking when we dove off the platform?” I didn’t. I laughed. “You did great!” 

                As we gently floated back to Earth, I already wanted to go again.  I lifted up my feet as Hoyt told me to do for the landing.  Once we were back on solid ground, every muscle in my body went limp.  I laid back on Hoyt and stared up at the sky.  I now know why the birds sing.

No Escape from the Chaos

It's been forever.

Forever. And. A. Day.

Too long since I've been here.  Maybe that's a good thing or a really, really bad thing. One can't be too quick to judge. The truth of the matter is the Cox family has been tremendously busy.  Almost too busy. I took up running as a means to escape the chaos.  Slowly, I started.  No sooner than I started did life catch up with me and I found myself with no time to escape the chaos.  There's a long list of things continuing in our lives. Amongst the wildfires and raging heat, our life has been coasting along in a sea of utter ~sometimes painful~ tranquility.  As a family of three, working full time seems to be enough. But is it ever really? Not here, obviously.

1)   I enrolled myself into college. Long overdue so I plunged in full time. What was I thinking? More money, less work, the American dream? It's too early to answer that question.  I do know that it's been 16 years since I've had homework of any sort and it's still no fun. It's not as bad as it seems. One physical class, three online classes. However, my three online classes all want the work due by Sunday at midnight, which means weekend homework. Fortunately, I work for an awesome company that works around me going to school 2 days a week.

2)   Elijah is playing football.  Evidently, 3rd grade football equates to 3 practices a week from 6-8 PM and games on Saturday evenings.  If he didn't love it so much, we wouldn't be there at all.  He plays center. And he's happy to have a permanent position and to be useful to the team. He loves his coaches and he's growing a lot as an athlete.  It would almost seem to me that the "coach" makes the the "athlete." Or maybe they can just hinder the athlete.  Regardless, Elijah is doing awesome at football this go around.

3)   We're just about to start our classes to be foster parents.  Yikes!  We're happy about this but scared.  Our goal is to adopt, not just foster. It's been a long thought out process of over 2 years for us.  Jason was inspired by seeing all the "state" kids in the NICU at Arkansas Children's Hospital.  Babies lying there with no parents to console them, to cry over them, to pray for them.  God placed this on his heart back then but only now have we acted on it.  We've been slow - making sure we were doing it for all the right reasons and not because we were empty after Jonah.  We have a lot of love to give and what I consider a good home.  We hope and pray the state sees it that way, too.

4)   I'm skydiving September 10th.  Another Yikes!  Grabbing life by the reins and holding on.  Again, I blame Elijah for this. He planted this in my mind and things don't always go well planted in my mind.  I want to touch the sky and see the world from a different perspective. 

5)   Jason's having surgery September 16th. Minor. Nothing serious and nothing to be talked about here. I'm just using it as an example of our busy life. Plain and simple.

Let's do the math: I work 5 days a week (I can't even explain Jason's schedule.)  Elijah has football 4 days a week. I'm in school 2 days a week and weekend homework.  We're jumping out of airplanes and going under the knife. It's a crazy world.  On a positive note, we haven't had a moment to gripe about gas prices, the economy, Obama or the weather.

Tonight, I made fresh donuts from scratch. Not the cut-a-hole-in-a-biscuit type. I mean, real donuts. Yeast, flour, sugar and shortening was involved.  Elijah sat on the counter top, playing my iPhone, as I dipped the last of the donuts in the glaze. 

Tonight, I am super-mom.