No one ever said this journey was easy. Difficult, at times, but well worth every second.
I checked B into an inpatient mental hospital on Friday. I had regret. I worried that we were wrong. Could he just be rebellious? Could we continue trying with him? When I dropped him off, I was told it would take up to four hours to evaluate him and determine if he could be admitted. I left and waited. At almost 7 last night, they called to tell he was admitted to acute rehab. They stopped just shy of calling him a sociopath. You did the right thing, was the last thing I was told.
What some people may have thought they knew about B, you never knew.
B is tormented by things beyond our control. He just turned 9. I think it's unfair to simply label him and toss him to the wolves. He needs help and I'm making certain that he gets it. Love and stability could not save B. He is a master at his illness. We've struggled with it. We've ignored the warning signs. We've disciplined him accordingly. We could no longer allow the other 3 children in our home to watch B self-destruct. It is what it is and it had to be done - that phone call confirmed to us that these measures had to be taken. I don't know if B will ever come back to us. I don't know if B can ever function as normal thriving citizen of society. I can't exactly say what his future holds but for now, we have to step away from him.
We have learned a hard truth in this journey: love can't heal everything.
I do know that last night our home was at peace. It was comfortable and we could relax. It was normal. His name wasn't mentioned. In two weeks, he'll move to a permanent facility to complete his rehab. He'll be further away from us, and we'll be asked then to make our decision. Be a part or walk away. We haven't even discussed it yet. B made it very clear to me as he was leaving that he didn't like me, then he turned and told me he loved me. I am allowed to call and speak him to him but have no plans to do that. They said last night that he misses me tremendously. However, he's manipulative. He'll say anything for me to pick him up. I'm standing my ground. This isn't about me or Jason or our family ~ this is only about B getting the help he needs and deserves. I'm angry at the adults that did this to him. Furious. It isn't his fault but it has to be corrected for him to have any chance at normalcy.
Pray for B.
