July 28, 2009 - Jonah's 9th Day

July 28, 2009

“Little Jonah had another good night. He had a rough day yesterday but he was a trooper and he pulled through it beautifully. Yesterday afternoon, the results of his echo showed a blood clot in his heart. Dr. Michi came in and performed an 1 1/2 hour surgery on him and removed it. This man is truly a gift from God. Jonah's numbers did better and Dr. Michi said he had planned to move forward with removing Jonah's support today.”

“About 8:30 last night, Jason and I went to see Jonah again, and his room was full with several nurses and doctors. I panicked. His nurse met me at the door. He said there had been some bleeding and they were talking to Dr. Michi to see what he suggested they do. They did an x-ray, and stopped the bleeding. Dr. Michi said it could have been post-op bleeding or because he had respiratory therapy that afternoon. Regardless, it wasn't enough blood to be anything major but they did take their precautions and moved up his support a little.”

These were the moments that instilled panic. We walked to Jonah’s room to discover a room jam-packed with staff. These are the moments when you nearly drop to your knees and bawl. Fortunately, this was a trivial situation and was easily fixed. It could have been much worse had his nurse, Brian, not taken it seriously.

“When we walked in, his nurse started telling about how he discovered the bleeding. He said "Jonah had his eyes open so I walked over...." HE HAD HIS EYES OPENED?? Tears came to my eyes - I hadn't seen his eyes yet. The nurse smiled and said "He'll do it again. Let's turn the light off." So, with everyone still in the room, Jason and I stood by in anticipation as they turned the lights down. A few minutes passed, Jonah opened his eyes wide and stared right at me and Jason. We stood there for about 5 minutes just locked in eye contact and talking to him through our tears of joy. My baby is beautiful.”

I remember this moment like it was yesterday. Jonah opened his eyes and look intently at us. His trance was locked in on us, beautifully. His head shifted to spot Dr. Michi standing on the other side of his bed. They locked eyes for a second and Dr. Michi whispered, “Look at your mommy and daddy. You don‘t want to see me.” And on cue, Jonah shifted his head back to us. He kicked his legs in excitement and held tight to my finger. We talked softly to him and he puckered his lips, unable to make a sound. Jason massaged his head and Jonah wrinkled his forehead. It was one of the best moments ever and I didn’t want to leave. After a few more minutes, Jonah drifted off back to sleep and like all our moments, it was brief. I felt a new bonding with Jonah. I felt closer to him. I can’t really put it into words but we both knew the importance of that moment. Three physicians, four nurses, and two happy parents - not a dry eye in the room. Everyone felt the importance of that moment.


“I also had the opportunity to do several other "firsts" yesterday that so many moms take for granted. I was allowed to put his diaper on (although it's just for vanity purposes) and I brushed his hair. I helped position him on the bed, so I was allowed to touch his back and his bottom. My touching him has been minimum - limited to the hands, feet and face. I hope he loved it all as much as I did.”

Peter, Jonah’s ECMO coordinator, pushed me outside of my comfort level. He asked me to take care of Jonah. To help him turn Jonah, to help fix him up and bathe him. Peter was the only nurse that asked for my participation. We rolled Jonah on to his side and I patted his tiny bottom. Jonah stuck his tongue out in response to the pat.

“I saw my son's beating heart today. The ECMO coordinator, Peter, suggested I do it. I looked. They had been covering Jonah when I walked in the room - these nurses are learning just how much mom can handle. Jonah's chest is still open. It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It was actually quite amazing."

Peter encouraged this moment. He forced me into it. I never wanted to see Jonah’s heart. Peter made it sound as if it was an art form to watch a beating heart. I knew I would never get the chance again. And Peter was right. It was unimaginable to watch Jonah’s tiny beating heart. God’s perfect creation. It brought tears to my eyes as I caressed Jonah’s hand. I never had to have Jonah’s chest covered again. I learned to appreciate that beating heart!

“This morning, Jonah opened his eyes for me again, and held tight to my finger. He finally loosened his grip after ten minutes, letting me know that he needed his rest. He has a big day today. We're hoping and praying to remove him from support.”

That evening, Jonah was removed from support with great success. My little baby was living and thriving on his own. His body was doing what it was supposed to be doing and he had come a long way. Our journey was still continuing, still amazing and still emotion-driven. But it was a journey.